Richard V. Reeves’ Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do About It is one of the most talked-about social studies books in recent years, and for good reason. With the world shifting rapidly toward gender equality and cultural redefinition, Reeves steps into one of today’s most sensitive debates: what is happening to men?
This book argues that boys and men are falling behind in education, employment, and social well-being. Reeves, a Brookings Institution scholar and father of three sons, explores how economic, cultural, and institutional shifts have left many men unmoored. He presents his findings with empathy and statistical precision, offering what he calls “a positive vision for masculinity in a more equal world.”
A Thought-Provoking Look at Gender and Change
Reeves’ central claim is that the world has changed for women, but not for men. Female participation in education and professional life has skyrocketed, while men, particularly working-class men, struggle to adapt to a post-industrial economy. Many readers, however, find Reeves’ analysis incomplete.
Emily May, a thoughtful reviewer and mother of three sons, captures this tension perfectly. She admits she approached the book skeptically but recognized its urgency in an age where some young men are turning to online extremism. Reeves, she agrees, is right that we must address this problem rather than dismiss it. Yet she questions his selective reasoning. When he argues boys need more male teachers because they respect men more, she points out that this does not address the deeper issue: boys’ lack of respect for women.
May also highlights Reeves’ inconsistent stance on biology. He insists men are “naturally more aggressive and less nurturing,” yet also argues they should take on more caregiving roles. She finds this contradictory if men’s traits are biologically fixed, how can they thrive in nurturing professions? Reeves’ wavering between social and biological explanations undermines the strength of his argument.
Mixed Messages on Accountability
Cindy Pham, another reviewer, notes that Reeves sometimes portrays men as victims without holding them accountable for how they arrived here. She points out that the privileges men long enjoyed came at the expense of women’s opportunities. Now that equality is rising, Reeves seems hesitant to fully acknowledge how deeply sexism and patriarchy shaped the imbalance.
Pham also questions Reeves’ tendency to accommodate men rather than challenge them. For example, instead of asking why boys resist female authority, he proposes giving them more male mentors. This, she argues, only reinforces the very dynamics we need to change. She calls for a deeper interrogation of masculinity itself, rather than cosmetic fixes that avoid confronting its harmful norms.
Searching for the “Why” Behind the Crisis
Amy Strong takes a step back to ask the biggest question: why are men struggling at all? Reeves outlines symptoms aimlessness, lower ambition, social isolation but never identifies a root cause. His proposed solutions, such as delaying school entry for boys or encouraging them into caregiving professions, feel like surface-level patches rather than cures.
Strong offers her own compelling theory. She argues that men are faltering because they were taught rigidity, while women learned adaptability. In a world that now rewards flexibility, emotional intelligence, and reinvention, women thrive because they are used to juggling multiple identities and roles. Men, by contrast, were conditioned to define themselves narrowly often by status or dominance and find it difficult to start over when those roles disappear.
Her analogy of “Cardboard Man and Plastic Woman” is memorable: cardboard bends until it breaks, while plastic reshapes itself. In this way, she sees men’s crisis not as biological but as a cultural failure to teach resilience and flexibility.
Toward a New Definition of Masculinity
Despite its flaws, Of Boys and Men sparks an essential conversation. Reeves’ book is not anti-woman; it is a plea to recognize that gender equality cannot be achieved by ignoring the struggles of men. Yet readers like May, Pham, and Strong remind us that true equality requires more than sympathy it demands accountability, education, and a fundamental reimagining of masculinity itself.
Perhaps the most optimistic takeaway comes from Strong’s conclusion: men can change. The solution is not to revert to outdated roles but to redefine success around adaptability, empathy, and shared responsibility both at work and at home.
Reeves opens the door to this dialogue, even if he doesn’t always walk all the way through it. His book will frustrate some, challenge others, but ultimately leave every reader with the same realization: the future of equality depends on helping men evolve alongside women.
If you are interested in exploring this vital and timely discussion, you can get your copy of Of Boys and Men here: Buy on Amazon.
