Parenting books come and go, each promising a gentler, wiser, more effective way to raise resilient children. Good Inside: A Practical Guide to Resilient Parenting Prioritizing Connection Over Correction by Dr. Becky Kennedy has quickly become one of the most talked-about parenting guides in recent years. With over 38,000 ratings on Goodreads and a loyal online following, Dr. Becky’s message has sparked both admiration and controversy. Her central philosophy that every child (and parent) is “good inside” aims to shift the way we nurture emotional intelligence and connection within families. But as many readers have pointed out, this approach has both powerful insights and serious limitations.
At its best, Good Inside is compassionate, hopeful, and refreshingly nonjudgmental. Dr. Becky’s techniques center on empathy and understanding rather than control. She urges parents to see beyond behavior and instead look for the emotional needs underneath. Her idea of “connection capital” is especially impactful: the notion that deep trust between parent and child is built slowly through moments of mutual understanding, not constant correction. For parents overwhelmed by guilt or burnout, her reminder that “you are a good parent having a hard time” can feel like a lifeline.
However, Good Inside also leans heavily on the belief that all humans, particularly children, are fundamentally good. For some, that premise is comforting. For others especially those who view human nature through a more religious or pragmatic lens it feels overly simplistic. Critics have pointed out that while empathy is essential, Good Inside often minimizes the importance of boundaries and consequences. Many of Dr. Becky’s examples involve children screaming “I hate you” while parents calmly validate feelings without enforcing limits. Readers like Elevetha noted that while emotional validation is important, “sometimes kids are just being difficult, and there need to be consequences for bad behavior.”
Another critique comes from readers like Lgordo, who appreciate the philosophy of connection but argue that Good Inside takes it to an unrealistic extreme. They point out that Dr. Becky’s guidance often assumes parents should take full responsibility for their child’s emotional world an impossible task that risks creating overinvolved, anxious parenting. The book sometimes portrays emotional processing as the ultimate goal of every interaction, even at the expense of practicality and balance. As Lgordo insightfully writes, “Gentle parenting is the azimuth of helicopter parenting… it assumes the parent can optimize the emotional landscape of the child.”
While the first half of Good Inside feels practical and grounded especially the chapters on resilience and self-regulation the later sections often drift into overly clinical territory. Her conversational examples, while well-intentioned, can sound scripted and unrealistic for everyday life. The advice to verbalize every conflict (“Mommy and Daddy used loud voices”) feels more like a therapy session than a home conversation. For busy parents juggling real-world responsibilities, this level of emotional labor may be unsustainable.
Still, Dr. Becky’s core message resonates: connection matters more than control. The book’s focus on helping parents repair after conflict, understand emotional triggers, and model self-regulation has undeniable merit. Her approach reminds us that children, even in their worst moments, need to feel seen and safe.
Ultimately, Good Inside is both a powerful invitation to parent with empathy and a controversial reimagining of discipline. It will deeply inspire some readers while frustrating others who crave a more structured approach. If you’re looking for a parenting book that offers warmth, emotional awareness, and tools for breaking cycles of guilt, this book may speak to you. But if you value clear boundaries and practical consequences, you may find yourself taking Dr. Becky’s advice “with a shaker of salt.”
Final Thoughts:
Good Inside is a well-intentioned guide that challenges parents to lead with connection and compassion. It is both deeply human and somewhat idealistic, a reflection of the modern parenting dilemma how to raise emotionally healthy children without losing yourself in the process. Whether you embrace or question its methods, it’s a thought-provoking read that will make you reflect on your own parenting philosophy.
👉 You can get your copy of Good Inside here: Buy on Amazon
