Rating: ★★★★☆ (4/5)
Lysa TerKeurst’s Good Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are is a compassionate, faith-centered guide for anyone struggling to love well without sacrificing their peace. Known for her bestselling book It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way, TerKeurst returns with a deeply personal and practical look at how to set boundaries in relationships that often feel impossible to manage.
At its heart, this book teaches a vital lesson: boundaries are not a sign of selfishness, but an act of love both for others and for ourselves. Drawing on her own experience of heartbreak and healing, TerKeurst blends personal stories with biblical insight and therapeutic wisdom, offering readers a roadmap for creating relationships rooted in respect, trust, and emotional health.
Each chapter focuses on a key principle, from recognizing toxic patterns to learning when it’s time to let go. The author walks readers through common fears that keep them trapped in unhealthy dynamics fear of guilt, rejection, or being perceived as unkind and shows how clear, loving boundaries can actually deepen connection rather than destroy it.
What makes this book stand out is its tone: gentle yet firm, spiritual yet deeply practical. TerKeurst’s collaboration with Christian counselor Jim Cress adds a layer of clinical perspective that grounds her teachings in modern psychology. Together, they tackle issues like emotional exhaustion, enabling, guilt-driven relationships, and the myth that unconditional love means unlimited access.
For readers like Rachel Hanes, who described herself as a lifelong people-pleaser, Good Boundaries and Goodbyes is life-changing. She shares how one simple line from the book “Someone else being disappointed doesn’t make us a disappointment” completely reshaped her mindset. Similarly, Janay praised the book for affirming that setting boundaries isn’t unchristian; it’s necessary for spiritual and emotional maturity. She highlights some of the book’s most memorable lines, including “Love can be unconditional but relational access never should be.”
Not every reader will connect with the same intensity. Reviewer J. Tayler Smith noted that while the message is powerful, the book’s strong Christian framework might limit its appeal to a broader audience. Still, he acknowledges the clarity and compassion behind TerKeurst’s words, emphasizing that her goal isn’t to encourage people to walk away from relationships lightly, but to help them love wisely and sustainably.
Ultimately, Good Boundaries and Goodbyes succeeds as both a spiritual and psychological manual for self-respect. It doesn’t shy away from hard truths: sometimes love means saying goodbye. But TerKeurst reminds readers that walking away from dysfunction is not a failure it’s a faithful act of self-preservation and integrity.
Verdict: A heartfelt, Scripture-rich, and practical guide for anyone ready to stop overextending themselves and start loving in a healthy, balanced way. Ideal for readers seeking healing after emotional burnout or broken trust.
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